We regret to inform you that the geniuses are behind it goop are at it again…
Gwyneth Paltrow‘s website went viral for all the wrong reasons a few months ago when the actress promoted a line of Mother’s Day-themed sex toys for moms before this day. With Father’s Day fast approaching, the 49-year-old star is at it again – but this time she’s got her dad’s sex life in mind, rather than mum’s bedroom habits!
The lifestyle website’s gift guide was released just before the holiday (which is Sunday in the US, so call your dad!). And the guide explains why fathers total earn happiness and sexual pleasure from a variety of “guy pleasers” for sale.
we do gotta give Gwyneth some credit! Kicking off the Father’s Day Gift Guide promo, Goop makes fun of itself by writing:
“Fathers, brothers, uncles, boyfriends and husbands haven’t seen much of innovation. But instead of reinventing this wheel, we decided it would be more fun to make the shit out of it.”Advertisement
This is honestly pretty funny. And goop the s**t out of it, she
father did! In fact, things got very graphic REALLY fast!
Also Read: Gwyneth Finally Responds to Theory Kourtney Kardashian Copied Goop With Poosh!
The 58-point list includes some traditional suggestions for the more conservative dads out there, including button-down shirts, a super-expensive watch, and various tech gadgets. Also for sale are a massage gun, various nutritional supplements for busy dads on the go, an extravagant exercise bike and more.
Paltrow is forever an incredible salesman couples this article to potential buyers in the guide, telling them that “it’s worth buying two—one for him, one for you.”
The Goop employees introduce themselves:
“There is no better compliment than giving the man in your life something that you would legitimately wear or use yourself.”
Yes, and also double the total in the online shopping cart. Clever how that works in the end, isn’t it?!
But the guide Also contains a few eyebrow-raising trinkets, including two different styles of vibrating sex rings, each costing more than $100, and a $200 “penis masturbation device that’s guaranteed to dads and their partners.” the best sex”.
Two hundred dollars for a masturbation device?! In THIS economy?
Also Read: Gwyneth Gets Emotional In Very Rare Interview With Ex Brad Pitt! Wow!
Apparently Goop’s vibrating sex rings are real. They’re designed as a “sleek toy for stimulating the perineum during sex,” according to the instructions. And the $200 penis-masturbation device is part of a shopping section of the online store that’s replete with “almost universal wellness essentials, but for the most part, they’re different strokes for different people.”
“Different strokes,” right? You Yes, really had to go there, Gwyneth?! Ha!!
By the way, if you’re trying to spend even more money this Father’s Day, there are other expensive family-friendly options! You can go for the $510 wireless charger (?!), the $600 sauna blanket (!!), or even the $10,624 watch (!!!!) if you’re really keen to show dad the love. Yes…
If you’re curious and have some extra cash to burn, you can check out the entire guide HERE.
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[Image via Gwyneth Paltrow/Instagram]